I want to apologize to my readers for having been so quiet lately. The past year and some change have been a consistent uphill battle, with me rolling back downhill quite a lot. I’ve been trying to put a pin into what exactly it is that has changed for me in regards to writing, as well as why it’s been so hard for me to grasp any semblance of sure footing in life; but it’s been a hard journey.  I’ve felt more hopeless and like I no longer have any sort of solid foundation. The threat of the rug being pulled out from under me is always looming over my…

Yesterday I felt joy for the first time in a long time. It was so close to the feelings of hypomania but without the poor impulse control. I felt like me. I think.  I finally hit my breaking point a few weeks ago and decided to cut ties with an emotionally abusive, narcissist (my own 2 cents based on his behavior patterns. I AM NOT A DR.) who I loved deeply but was causing me to spiral into despair. I was scared to call it abuse because looking from the outside “it wasn’t that bad” but if someone continues to cause you harm, after being told how they hurt you,…

At the start of the COVID-19 mandatory state shutdowns, layoffs, and calls for social distancing and self quarantining a common refrain throughout social media has been about “staying productive.” Start those projects that you’ve been meaning to, revamp your resume, start a business, do this, do that. Rarely have you been seeing anyone saying that it’s okay to just do nothing. We are at an unprecedented time of global anxiety and stress and the one coping mechanism that people can throw out is to be productive. I’d like to take this apart just a little bit. This call for constant productivity sits a little differently with me as someone living…